Good afternoon. You know that feeling when you’re trying really hard to fall asleep, but the more you think about it, the harder it gets? Or when you’re chasing happiness, and it always seems just out of reach?

If so, then you’ve had a brush with something called "The Backwards Law" a concept that might just help you rethink how you approach, well, everything.

Now let’s dive into the paradox of why trying less might actually give you more.

The Backwards Law: Why Trying Harder Can Backfire.

The Backwards Law, a counterintuitive idea from British philosopher Alan Watts, turns traditional thinking about success and happiness on its head. It suggests that the more we chase something whether it’s happiness, success, or peace the more elusive it becomes.

In essence, by striving too hard to gain positive experiences, we paradoxically increase our dissatisfaction.

Watts points out that this phenomenon happens because the act of pursuing something highlights the very absence of it. When you're constantly seeking happiness, for instance, your focus shifts to the fact that you're not happy, and this awareness breeds anxiety.

The harder you work to be calm and relaxed, the more tense you become, because you’re constantly monitoring whether you're achieving that calm.

Why does this happen? Watts argues that desire itself creates a sense of lack. When we desire something intensely, we reinforce the idea that we don’t have it, and this perceived gap can fuel frustration, anxiety, or dissatisfaction.

It's a bit like quicksand the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.

The Happiness Trap.

One of the clearest examples of The Backwards Law in action is with happiness. Modern culture teaches us that happiness is something we must actively chase through career success, material wealth, or personal achievements.

Yet, studies show that people who are fixated on becoming happy often report lower levels of well-being.

It’s as if the constant pursuit of happiness makes us hyper-aware of any moments when we aren’t perfectly content.

The more you chase happiness, the more you judge yourself for not being happy. You become stuck in a loop of wanting and self-criticism, as the very effort to achieve happiness becomes a source of unhappiness.

Success and The Backwards Law.

The Backwards Law also applies to success. In a world that values hustle and relentless ambition, it’s easy to get trapped in the belief that pushing harder will automatically bring results.

But as many high achievers discover, this mindset can leave you feeling unfulfilled and burned out.

For instance, the more you push for financial success, the more you might compare yourself to those who have more, feeling perpetually behind. Or, as you hit one career goal, new challenges arise, shifting your focus to what’s still missing rather than what you’ve already achieved.

The constant striving blinds you to the success you've already attained.

Embrace the Paradox.

The Backwards Law doesn’t mean we should give up on ambition, happiness, or success it simply encourages us to rethink how we approach them.

The key is to accept the inevitability of discomfort, failure, and uncertainty, rather than constantly trying to escape them. In doing so, you remove the pressure and make space for authentic contentment.

For example, rather than obsessing over happiness, you can allow yourself to experience negative emotions without judgment. This acceptance naturally leads to greater peace, as you stop resisting the ebb and flow of emotions.

Similarly, instead of constantly striving for more, recognizing the value of what you already have allows success to feel more satisfying.

The big takeaway? Sometimes, letting go is the most powerful thing you can do. Accepting discomfort, uncertainty, and even failure can open the door to the very things you’ve been chasing all along—happiness, success, and inner peace.

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