Good morning. Did you know that, on this day in 1969, the Beatles released Abbey Road, forever changing the face of music?

While some of us are still working through the pain of their breakup, we’re turning our attention today to a topic that goes beyond bands and breakups something far more personal and profound: the philosophy of forgiveness.

The Philosophy of Forgiveness.

Forgiveness. It’s a word that’s easy to throw around but hard to live up to. We’ve all been told to “forgive and forget,” but anyone who’s ever been hurt knows it’s not that simple.

Forgiveness can feel like the hardest thing in the world, yet it’s something we are told is good for us. The real question, though, is why?

What’s the real deal with forgiveness, and why do philosophers, spiritual leaders, and even psychologists keep telling us that it’s worth our time?

Let’s start with the basics. When you hear the word “forgiveness,” what comes to mind? For many of us, it’s about letting someone off the hook, offering a pardon for their wrongdoing, or giving them a second chance.

But is that all forgiveness really is? If we think a little deeper, it becomes clear that forgiveness isn’t just a favor we do for someone else it’s a radical act of self-liberation.

Why do we struggle with forgiveness? If we’re being honest, holding onto anger or resentment feels powerful at first. It’s a way of saying,

“I was wronged, and I deserve justice.”

When we hold grudges, we feel like we’re keeping ourselves safe. After all, if you let go of that anger, aren’t you just making yourself vulnerable to more pain?

Isn’t that how you get walked all over? This is the internal conflict we all face: How can you forgive someone when everything in you screams that it’s unfair?

The truth is, holding onto anger can feel like control, but in reality, it’s a trap. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.

The longer you hang onto that anger, the more it consumes you, and the person who hurt you?

They may have long since moved on. They might not even realize they hurt you in the first place. So who’s really being punished here? The one holding the grudge.

Forgiveness, then, is less about the person who wronged you and more about you deciding that your peace of mind is worth more than the pain of holding on.

It’s about recognizing that the past is unchangeable, no matter how much we wish we could rewrite it.

We often think forgiveness is about excusing someone’s behavior or pretending it didn’t happen, but that’s not it at all. Forgiveness is about saying, “What you did hurt me, but I’m no longer going to let that hurt control my life.”

But here’s where it gets tricky:

How do you forgive without feeling like you’re letting someone off the hook? It’s a question that can tie us up in knots because, deep down, we want justice.

We want the person who hurt us to understand the pain they caused and to feel the weight of their actions.

But here’s the hard truth: Forgiveness isn’t about waiting for the other person to apologize.

It’s not about them at all. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional baggage. You forgive because you deserve peace, not because they deserve forgiveness.

Now, let’s talk about the process. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision. It’s not like flipping a switch where, once you decide to forgive, all the pain magically disappears.

It’s a journey, and some days you’ll feel like you’ve moved on, and other days the old hurt might come flooding back.

And that’s okay. Forgiveness isn’t linear. It’s a daily, sometimes hourly, choice to release yourself from the grip of resentment.

One of the toughest things to wrap our heads around is that forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation.

You can forgive someone and still choose to keep them at arm’s length. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for both yourself and the other person is to forgive, but set firm boundaries to protect your well-being.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase the need for accountability. It simply means you’re no longer letting their actions have power over your emotional state.

And what about self-forgiveness? 

Ah, now we’re getting to the heart of it. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is the one staring back at you in the mirror.

We’re our own worst critics, aren’t we? We remember every mistake, every harsh word, every time we fell short of who we wanted to be.

And while we can offer endless grace to others, we rarely extend the same kindness to ourselves.

But here’s the thing: If you can’t forgive yourself, you’ll always be carrying around the weight of your past mistakes. And that weight will hold you back from becoming the person you’re meant to be.

Self-forgiveness is about recognizing that, like everyone else, you are human. You make mistakes. You have flaws. But those mistakes don’t define you.

What defines you is how you learn from them, how you grow, and how you choose to move forward.

So, how do we start forgiving? It begins with empathy. As hard as it may be, try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who hurt you.

Why did they act the way they did? Were they coming from a place of pain or fear?

Understanding doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help you see that their actions weren’t necessarily a reflection of you, but of their own struggles.

When you can view someone through the lens of empathy, it becomes a little easier to let go of the anger.

The next step is acceptance. This doesn’t mean you have to like what happened or pretend it didn’t affect you.

Acceptance means acknowledging the reality of the situation without trying to change it. It’s recognizing that what’s done is done, and no amount of holding onto the past will alter what’s already happened.

Finally, forgiveness is about letting go of the need for revenge. This is the hardest part because when we’ve been wronged, it’s natural to want justice.

But true forgiveness means releasing the desire to make someone pay for their mistakes. It’s about trusting that life has its own way of balancing things out, even if you can’t see it right away.

But don’t forget this: Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s one of the most courageous things you can do.

It takes strength to let go of anger, to release the need for vengeance, and to choose peace over pain. Forgiving doesn’t mean you’re weak it means you’re strong enough to move on.

And when you do? It’s like taking off a heavy coat you’ve been wearing for far too long. You feel lighter. You feel free.

You’re no longer trapped by the past, but open to the possibilities of the present. Forgiveness gives you back your future.

So, what’s the final takeaway? 

Forgiveness is messy, and it’s hard. It requires us to face our pain head-on and make the conscious choice to move beyond it. But it’s also one of the most freeing things we can do for ourselves.

It’s not about forgetting, or pretending it didn’t happen, or even about the other person. It’s about deciding that your peace of mind is worth more than the weight of carrying that grudge. It’s about saying, “I choose to let go because I deserve to move forward.”

In the end, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s not about them it’s about reclaiming your power, your peace, and your ability to live fully in the present.

And if you ask me, that’s a gift worth giving.